Live · The 2026 trade deadline drop
The talent
wars have
merch.
Official-ish jerseys of the AI researchers everyone keeps poaching. Name on the back, lab on the chest. Offer letter not included.
- Players
- 211
- Teams
- 10
- From
- $25
Transfer wire
- PRITZEL: Google DeepMind to Anthropic, 2026
- FARHADI: Allen Institute for AI (CEO) to Microsoft AI, 2026
- KARPATHY: Eureka Labs to Anthropic, 2026
- MILICH: Cursor to xAI, 2026
- TULLOCH: Meta Superintelligence Labs (TBD Lab) to Anthropic, 2026
- ZOPH: OpenAI to Google DeepMind, 2026
- PEEBLES: OpenAI to Startup (unannounced), 2026
- SILVER: University College London (Professor) to Ineffable Intelligence (founder, London), 2026
- SONG: Virtue AI (co-founder) to Meta Superintelligence Labs, 2026
- HASSABIS: DeepMind / Google DeepMind (co-founder, CEO) to Google DeepMind (Chair) + Alphabet (Chief Scientist), 2026
- ZHOU: Google Brain / Google DeepMind to Meta Superintelligence Labs, 2026
- CHAPLOT: xAI to Sarvam (adviser), 2026
- HAJISHIRZI: Allen Institute for AI to Microsoft AI, 2026
- GINSBERG: Cursor to xAI, 2026
- DEAN: Google (Chief Scientist; Google Brain; Gemini co-lead) to Discovery Loop (co-founder, CEO), 2026
Marquee signings
Franchise players
Alexandr Wang
#0GM · Meta Superintelligence Labs
Barret Zoph
#16Post-training · Google DeepMind
Ilya Sutskever
#12Founder · Safe Superintelligence
Jiahui Yu
#10Founder · Free Agency
John Schulman
#17RL · Thinking Machines Lab
Lilian Weng
#42Safety · OpenAI
Mira Murati
#25Founder · Thinking Machines Lab
Mustafa Suleyman
#24Coach · Microsoft AI
The league
Pick a side
- AnthropicSan Francisco · 47 playersPlays by a published constitution. The refs say they're very polite about it.
- Meta Superintelligence LabsMenlo Park · 40 playersAnnounces its signings by internal memo. Personal superintelligence or bust.
- OpenAISan Francisco · 36 playersThe original franchise, and the league's busiest alumni network.
- Google DeepMindLondon · 25 playersA Nobel in the trophy cabinet and a TPU farm in the basement.
- Thinking Machines LabSan Francisco · 10 playersAn expansion team with a veteran roster. Publishes its playbook on the Connectionism blog.
- Mistral AIParis · 10 playersEurope's open-weights powerhouse. The team mascot is Le Chat.
- Microsoft AIRedmond · 6 playersHolds a stake in a rival franchise and fielded its own team anyway.
- xAIPalo Alto · 4 playersTakes the field as xAI, SpaceXAI or SpaceXSI, depending on the week. Check the scoreboard.
- Safe SuperintelligencePalo Alto · 2 playersOne goal, one product, zero highlight reels. Straight shot to the title.
- Free AgencyUndisclosed · 31 playersUnsigned, unannounced and taking calls. Stealth mode is a position.
Contract terms
Two ways to sign
The rookie deal
Jersey Tee
$25
Sport-Tek colorblock performance tee in 100% polyester, with a contrast CamoHex-print shoulder and sleeve panel. Lab mark on the chest, name and number on the back.
- White performance body, team-colour CamoHex shoulders
- Name + number on the back
- Lab mark on the left chest
- Sizes XS–4XL, 2XL +$2, 3XL +$5, 4XL +$8
The max contract
Pro Jersey
$30
All-over sublimated sports jersey in lightweight 100% polyester. The whole kit is dyed into the fabric (body, sleeves and collar), and each one is printed and sewn to order in the US.
- Full team colours, sublimated edge to edge
- Home or away kit
- Looks like it came off a bench
- Sizes XS–4XL, 2XL +$2, 3XL +$2, 4XL +$2
Origin story
The one that
started it
After Zuckerberg's memo named his first eleven superintelligence hires, we made one shirt: an OpenAI kit for ZHANG, number 11.
ZHANG wasn't on the list. Not a real player. Never was.
This whole store is that bit, taken way too far. The original is still available: same white tee, same number.
Undrafted? Draft yourself.
Build your
own jersey
Any name, any number, any lab's kit. Put your manager on Team xAI. Put your dad on DeepMind. We don't make the trades, we just print them.
Start building →01
Every stat has a receipt
Positions, transfers and known-for lines come from public sources, linked on every player page. If it is a joke, it reads like one.
02
Players can opt out
On the roster and not into it? One form, removed within 24 hours. No buyout clause.
03
Printed on demand
Each shirt is printed when you order it, in the US. No warehouse of unsold WEI #11s.
Parody and commentary. POACHED is not affiliated with, sponsored by, or endorsed by OpenAI, Anthropic, Meta, Google, xAI or any other company or person shown. Logos and trademarks belong to their owners.